Sixes
The Loyal Comrades. The Sceptics. The Herd Animals. Sixes are extremely affable, hard-working and reliable people. Outwardly they usually appear calm and composed, while their insides look quite different. As they are convinced that the world is a dangerous place, they consciously or unconsciously look for backing in their daily endeavours to be and stay safe. They know that nothing in life is free, so they earn the support of others by demonstrating endless loyalty and diligence with a focus on pleasing them. Sixes build upon the belief: United we are strong. Yet, since not everyone is naturally wired that way, Sixes often give more than they get back and exhaust themselves without realising it. Many Sixes speak of a childhood lacking the necessary reassurance from one or both parents, who were often very unpredictable and emotionally unstable instead. Thus, these children could never move freely or be completely exuberant, but had to remain vigilant and on alert. This resulted in the development of the pattern "I follow rules, so I won't be punished", which remains from an early age into adulthood. Like obedient pupils who fear, respect and despise their teachers at the same time, adult Sixes have a split relationship to authority and institutions. On the one hand, they expect higher authorities to do their job conscientiously, and on the other hand, they know that people, no matter what position they are in, may show a different face at any given time. So Sixes serve their employers tirelessly and despise them for the fact that they probably cannot be trusted. Sixes in any case always wonder about people's hidden motivation: "What do they really want?" Another manifestation of Sixes lies in a counterphobia that becomes noticeable when they, out of a rebellious resistance, rise up against their fear and daringly face true danger.
Sixes place great value on family, faithful partners, being home owners, having a fixed job and a well-maintained circle of friends. This makes them feel in safe hands while living in a big scary world. Sixes by nature feel hounded internally, because danger lurks everywhere, in every crack, behind every corner. Even when things are going well, there is a certainty in the back of their minds that no fortune is everlasting and so they keep an eye out for any indication that things are about to go down the drain. It's like the proverbial sword of Damocles hovering over one’s head, threatening to come crashing down at any given moment. Sixers are therefore equipped with a scanning eye that constantly – consciously or unconsciously – looks for sources of danger in order to be prepared for any situation. They are the people whose bags resemble a first aid kit and everything they scan leads to extensive worry for which solutions must be found immediately. There is so much to assess, that Sixes get carried away with their thoughts and can easily wind themselves into a frenzy. These thoughts may reach a speed that is barely controllable. If this process, this worst-case-scenario thinking, is not stopped, paranoia can set in. One often hears Sixes say, "I think I'm going crazy" and "this is driving me mad". It is as if their thoughts take on an identity of their own. That is why Sixes are often called the devil's advocates who question everything and everyone. Even their own thoughts are kept within the evil game with "yes, but" and do not get discarded. This way, every decision becomes an ordeal for Sixes. Perpetual doubt keeps them from taking action. They do never-ending research and seek advice from many sources, only to end up more confused than before, and then, under time constraints, make a decision, which of course they doubt again afterwards. Thus, Sixes question their own abilities and intelligence the most, because so many voices in their heads are confusing and these gnaw away at their long-term memory. Since Sixes tend to be pessimistic, which they themselves perceive as a realistic disposition, they suffer from success amnesia. This way, the vicious circle of self-doubt is perpetuated and in the worst case, they breed self-fulfilling prophecies. Sixes’ lively imagination not only makes them invent and dramatize dangers, but also when in a stressed state, they suspect evil intentions in even their closest confidants and thus Sixes deprive themselves of the support they need so much.
The first challenge for Sixes is to distance themselves from their confused thoughts by refusing attempts to follow them and instead just allowing them to be there and seeing their thoughts as a separate entity unto themselves. For this, it is helpful for Sixes to focus their attention on breathing and on the awareness in their bodies to arrive to the here and now. Meditation practices, sport, craft activities and time spent in nature are particularly enriching for Sixes. As a further step, they will attain a sense of surrender by realizing that their contingency plans hold the possibility of a surprising turn for the better and by recognising how perceived misfortunes in the past have later turned out to be blessings. Then they will increasingly be able to draw confidence and find the courage to let themselves be guided by life, to accept new possibilities as a gift and to look to their future with joy and faith.