Ones
The Perfectionists. The Do-gooders. The Idealists. Ones are highly responsible, passionate and correct personalities who live by the motto: "Many little people, in many little places, taking many little steps, will change the face of this world". There is nothing that they wish for more ardently than to see this scenario brought into reality, because they know that this would indeed be possible if everyone did their bit. The problem for Ones is that few people have such high standards, morals and ideologies and are willing to make sacrifices in their privileged lives. The "it's none of my business" attitude, which is perceived as extremely ignorant, sometimes drives Ones to sheer despair, because they know that they alone cannot save the world. Ones virtually cannot relate to how others do not see the impending doom and how they stroll through life completely carefree and naïve. In fact, they tend to perceive the attitude of others as a personal provocation. However, even though Ones often mark others down as lazy and ungrateful, they secretly wish they had the same carelessness and ease and they long for more fun in their lives. Yet, they see the unpleasant reality and the necessity to "fix" things and are thus convinced that happiness has to be earned. This is a belief system programmed in them from an early age on. Ones usually grew up in a household where the motto was: "Not scolded is praised enough" and/or where sobriety and discipline was set as the example and where small slip-ups and faux pas were seen as the end of the world. The belief that one must always be diligent and above all "good" manifests itself in the form of an inner critic who comments and scrutinizes every action and being. They start with themselves and are relentlessly unforgiving. Everything and everyone is assessed and judged. Ones have a focus on everything they think needs to be corrected and optimized and they perceive the world in black and white, right and wrong, and good and evil. This compulsive need for ironing out mistakes comes from an unconscious fear of losing control and being punished by fate. However, they are highly sensitive to external criticism, because they alone set the standards and are in a constant state of self-evaluation.
To keep track of all duties, Ones love to-do lists where they check off items with a sense of great satisfaction. Brief moments of peace occur when suddenly there is structure, order and thus control in their lives. However, the lists are endless, because if the others do not do their job or fail to do it properly, Ones feel obliged to intervene and so they put far too much on their plate. They love taking on the role of educating and lecturing and sometimes give unsolicited advice. If this is not taken on board, a great deal of self-control to bottle up the rising anger is needed. If they succeed in this endeavour, then they often react in an exaggeratedly polite way, because that is what Ones’s etiquette requires. Yet, the resentment persists and makes them impatient, nagging, opinionated and pedantic. Since their anger has no outlet, Ones are under extremely high pressure internally, which manifests in a stiff, unrelaxed posture and an invisibly wagging index finger. If the anger becomes too groundbreaking, Ones can become quite sarcastic, indignant and snappy or they can downright explode. In these moments, the outside world gets a glimpse of how incessantly unkind Ones are with themselves. They truly are in a vicious circle, because the more exhausted they become, the louder the critic gets who scolds them for past mistakes and drives them to perform better and not lose valuable time. They therefore put off social pleasure for when "everything is done", which is almost an impossibility with all the perceived misery and shortcomings in this world. It is therefore no wonder that Ones very often end up in burnout or depression.
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When Ones notice that they, with their persistent attempts to create a more beautiful world, are making their own lives anything but beautiful, an awakening can happen. If they also gain awareness that all human beings are born with blind spots that may and do manifest in 'bad' behaviour, and when they realize that their inner compulsion to prevent being 'bad' is just another facet of the same problem, they can understand that their virtue and their path to growth lies in the acceptance of perceived flaws. Ones must accept the painful challenge of letting go and learning to trust in the rightness of the big picture, even if in their perspective, devastating things will happen without their intervention. It is important for Ones to recognize that buried beneath their sense of responsibility, which they present as being exemplary, lies the self-destructive program of self-sacrifice, and that they obsessively think themselves safe by means of their own control. If Ones learn to put their welfare first and to be more lenient and mindful with themselves, their true sense of responsibility will emerge and their generosity and empathy towards others will increase greatly. By forgiving themselves and others for their imperfections, they will attract more serenity, lightness and humor into their lives. Ones come into their true strength when they focus on healing rather than correcting and optimizing. They can then become inspiring reformers by living their values naturally and effortlessly and will then gratefully exist in an assurance that they are doing their part in creating a better world.