NINES
The Pacifist. The Mediator. The Seeker of Harmony. Nines are gentle, sensitive and above all peace-loving people who enjoy letting themselves drift along and trust that life will wash them up on the right shore. They emanate an infinite tranquility and serenity and have kind, warm eyes that make the other person feel understood. With their empathetic ability, Nines have an almost magnetic attraction. Absolutely everybody feels comfortable with them, and so Nines are never short of friends. They appear ego-less, and this is because, unlike all other types, they do not have a distorted view; they take the top spot in the Enneagram and have a clear, detached perception of the world. Nines thus possess the ability to look through every ego lens of the other eight types and even feel what the other person feels, while not sensing their own emotions. This automatic dissociation from their emotional world stems from a central need for harmony, which must be preserved. Thus, Nines live in a constant avoidance of conflict. Since there is a huge potential for conflict in the counterpart and the different perspectives of each personality, Nines instinctively adapt to the others. They veritably merge with the person while forgetting to stand up for themselves and their own position.
Nines learned as children that it is easier to get through life by keeping quiet. They didn't want to burden their parents, so they learned to adapt themselves from an early age. The less they rebelled, the easier everyday life would be for the parents, who may already had a lot on their plates. Yet, in reality conflicts are a part of daily life. So, on the one hand, Nines have the ability to settle potential disputes by taking on the role of mediators and by trying to initiate understanding between the arguing parties. On the other hand, they avoid disputes by taking refuge in their inner sanctum. This is a place where they find their equilibrium in the midst of discordance. They completely switch off and leave the situation mentally and emotionally. This can happen several times in one day. It is therefore said that Nines often fall asleep to their needs and desires. In waking moments, they sense where they want to direct their lives. However, the fear of disturbing the harmony that any change inevitably brings, makes them delay decisions and even feel grateful when this task is taken over by others. Thus, they cannot be held accountable should problems arise. Some Nines are sluggish and lethargic, but mostly, Nines seek jobs where they are simply left in peace. They prefer habitual and monotonous routines in which they switch to autopilot and in which disruptive factors are minimal. Being comfortable is paramount, and like Baloo in the Jungle Book, Nines love the little things in life, the bare necessities that will come to you. So, Nines like to let whole days pass, lying in the hammock, observing the ants, listening to the birds chirping, building castles in the air. They recognize and appreciate the beauty in everything, and always give others the benefit of the doubt. In many ways, Nines emanate a placidity that is admired by others who associate it with wisdom. However, this is usually not peacefulness that has matured, for deep under pent-up anger seethes. Nines live by the motto "live and let live". If they feel their peace is disturbed and attacked, they go for passive resistance. This manifests itself in an endless stubbornness, saying yes when meaning no, and despising the other person for their demand. In their subliminal aggression, Nines remain unassailable and at the same time define their limits to the person who is rocking their boat. Nines appear like loyal friends, they are patient listeners, but one should not expect shared grief or solid advice in difficult situations, because Nines ‘solve’ their problems by ‘waiting and seeing’. Nines who are especially avoidant of conflict are the classic ‘fair-weather’ friends. If difficulties arise that would require their initiative, they are the first to say farewell and so lose touch with people who may be very dear to them. The tragedy of the Nines is that they do not know what they really want and are therefore disoriented and dawdle away their valuable time.
In their absent-mindedness, in distracting themselves with trivialities and constantly procrastinating important decisions, they put themselves in the passenger seat of their own lives instead of taking the wheel. In order to avoid a belated and rude awakening that they have not really lived at all, it is absolutely essential for Nines to find their core motivation, to tap into an energy force strong enough to wake them up and motivate them to take action. Since keeping peace and harmony is the daily drive for Nines, creating peace and harmony could be the path to being present and connected to life. Another step is realizing that conflict is often necessary to ensure longer-term harmony and well-being. They will realize that fearing and running from conflict is more damaging than confronting it; and that grounded, inner harmony are the fruits they will reap. It will become easier for them to let their feelings and thoughts flow into their actions as well as taking center stage in their lives.
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